So is “mercury poisoning” the new Hollywood codeword for “exhaustion?” Which is, as you know, the codeword for “too much pAArtying!”

That’s a pretty clever one the Pivert and his shady doctor tried to pull there.

Dr. Carlon Colker said the alarming levels of mercury in Piven’s system stemmed from his fetish for sushi and Chinese herbs.

And perhaps other “fishy” things, but let’s not go there….

Dr. Colker and Pivert wrote a pretty good script together. The “doctor” said, “He’s disappointed that I had to pull the plug. But I think he’s hurt more by the comments that he’s not trying or that he walked away. He’s been working straight for 30 years. He doesn’t walk away; I tore him away from it.”

Awww, poor Jeremy.

We almost feel sorry for him.

Dr. Colker added that Piven’s mercury levels were “almost six times the upper limit of normal and allowable. It’s the highest level I’ve ever seen.”

Riiiight.

Allegedly, Piven first approached Dr. Colker complaining of severe fatigue.

However, that didn’t stop him from being sighted at different clubs and events. Including, but not limited to, yelling at fans at hip-hop shows, flirting with chicks at New York clubs, and attending B. Spears’ birthday party.

Try again Pivert!

[Image via WENN.]